This week I feel a burden has been lifted since we found out Monday Joe got a job. He will be working at Tech Data & is excited about this position. I never doubted. It was a relief and I feel like we can finally get settled.

Lyla is home from the hospital & I see a glimpse into the craziness of my sister's life. Having 4 young children is so much work & I don't know how she does it. Did I mention 3 out of 4 have food allergies, one being extreme?  No one is throwing a pizza in the oven or nuggets for a quick meal. Did I mention two of them go to different schools? Amazing.

I'm trying to drink up my freedom till Joe begins work and we become a 1 vehicle family with that 1 vehicle gone 5 days a week. This should be interesting. Hopefully we can save some money to get a van by August when baby cotton joins us. My sweet ride just won't handle 3 car seats (poor Joe will get stuck with my 99 Corolla which only has a tape deck. That's right.)

 

Speaking of, I'm having quite the time thinking of a name for this boy. Cotton is not easiest to work with because so many names I love end in "n" sound (Hudson, Rowan, Gavin, Roman, Greyson... to name a few) and even fewer sound good together. Still I strive on. I like unique names I don't hear every day and am very picky about what name strikes an image in my mind. Call me crazy.

Right now my favorite is Shepherd and has been since we named Blake Joseph. I'm still bitter we didn't give him the name Shepherd but I work on it a little each day :)  However, I hate the sound of "Shep" which would inevitably end up being a nickname. Been loving Sawyer, Knox, or Finn but Joe is not keen on these at all. Help please!!!! Don't know where to turn next.

 

I continue to work on the house - it's still not up to par to post many pics. It's changed lots & I have a vision of what I want to do, but not the funds to back that vision up. Like the pin says" I have good taste, just not the $ to prove it."

April is a busy birthday month for us - then just a couple months and any free time I know and love will disappear around the 20th of August. Bring it.

Lyla (& some other details)

The last few days have been rough on the family. It's late so I'll make this short. Lyla began to show signs of muscle weakness, a limpness where she couldn't pull herself up, her neck hung...lots of scary stuff when you a see a one year old so limited physically. They took her to All Children's Hospital on Tuesday and did a CT scan showing nothing wrong with the brain (thank you Lord) and then a MRI showed a cyst on the spine. They decided to wait till the next morning to do the surgery & this morning they found 3 cysts along the spine. She might have been born with these cysts and they just continued to grow.
We are thankful the doctors were able to figure this out and it was nothing more serious. It's a large scar down her back and we know recovery will take a while. She's spending the nights in the ICU with Rachel and Jason not leaving her side.
My mom is caring for all 3 boys as my dad is teaching out of town (our old stompin grounds, of course)...Please pray for strength for EVERYONE as this is going to be a long road ahead. The boys are obviously missing their mom and dad and feeling out of sorts. Rachel and Jason have missed nights of sleep and will continue to do so...My mom is pulled in many directions between trying to make the boys feel secure, caring for her parents & not having my dad home right now.

On a bright note, we had a delightful sonogram on Tuesday morning where we found out it's a boy. I have to be honest, I'm only slightly sad because I was so set on my girl's name and now I feel like I'll never have my daughter Harper. It's too good of a name to let pass by, but I really feel like #3 is kind of it for us...
Now the name game for a boy continues. I love a crazy good name, something unique but not bizarre and it has to sound good with cotton. Please weigh in...I need some insight!

Latest & Greatest

Blake is feeling better! Yeah for medicine. He is one happy boy who is VERY close to getting another haircut after being called a girl last night (by another small child, but still...)

Iris is cute and happy as always. Her hugs & kisses rock our socks. Time to start looking for an Ethiopian restaurant to celebrate family day next month  for when we brought her home a year ago!

Joe has a second interview this week with a different company & should hear back about a potential job this week he's gone on two interviews for. Hope on the horizon.

Getting to attend Lakeside's mission conference for the first time in 15 years and loving it. Loving watching the kids love it too.

Getting to see the baby this week at our 18 week ultrasound & finding out if we are having a girl or boy (I am predicting a girl but will probably be wrong).


We truly feel so blessed to be here. God has been so good to us & provided our every need. It is GOOD to need Him. Is it so good to see our kids blossoming and developing friendships with cousins and other kids & socially being around people besides just me & Joe. It is so good to hear my mom teach at Lakeside's women bible study. Hosea is quite a book. It is so good to be fed spiritually - I don't take a minute for granted after all these years.

It was a tougher day. Blake's been battling an ear infection for over a week and my attempts to clear it had been helping so I thought...then you see blood pouring out of your kid's ear & it's panic time. Thankfully it's nothing serious,(went to the doctor and it's only an ear infection) but feeling like a lousy parent, still waiting on various interviews for Joe & sometimes these days feel long. It is so nice to have family nearby & friends who care.

P.S. A week from today we find out what #3 will be!!!!

Birthday & Beach Pics

Woohoo! 2!!!



Favorite new shoes!

Before the party ...



Just the way I like it, lots of family :)



Yes that is a half eaten rice krispie treat. Iris wouldn't have it any other way!



The one person who Iris LOVES having close by...her mommett.

Rachel, Cole, Grandma & Drew

Our first family beach day



Her first time in the sand. Love.



Do you miss your coat & hat yet Blake?  Your welcome.

Florida, why do you hate my husband?

Well, we really do love being here. It's just the whole job situation is gotten to be stressful. We were supposed to hear today, all week really...but alas, not a word. Thankfully he does have some part time work that has opened up and will start next week. It's just getting old because although it's been a month now, it's hard to feel settled with Joe still home, still looking for work & when I think about it long enough my hair begins to tinge gray just a little. He's left messages just to follow up so we have an answer, but no returned calls. Never an encouraging sign.

Iris had a delightful birthday. Poppett dropped in to wish her well & then mommett (grandma and grandpa for those not familiar with our lingo) took her on a special date to build a bear & out to lunch. She now has a very sweet bunny named Foo Foo with a tu tu. After a delightful nap she played outside & I spoiled her with a slice of godiva cheesecake from Barnes & Noble. The girl does not like regular cake (after my own heart) but loved every bite of the cheesecake thankfully.

We had a yummy dinner, fun bubble bath & she opened her favorite thing - shoes. I took a picture this morning of just her in her new shoes. I promise to post pics soon - tomorrow night is her family celebration which I know she'll love. Want to be sure to include a few of those when I finally get my act together & post some pics.
Have a lovely weekend to all 3 of you who read this blog :)

Patience = a virtue

Remember that old phrase "patience is a virtue, possess it if you can...seldom in a woman, never in a man?"   Well, it's holding true. Joe had a 3rd interview last Monday & they said by this week we would know. I despise waiting. It seems like it's all I ever do. It's difficult to just be content & not worry about how we are going to pay our bills, buy food & live day to day as the weeks go by and no income with it.
It's a good reminder that God takes care of His children & to trust Him to provide our needs. He knows what we need to live & therefore we can trust Him.
After being here the entire month of February we finally got internet last night. It's safe to say I had a bit of a meltdown & was feeling very isolated without being able to connect to the outside world. Well, now that we have it I'm tempted to waste much time on it, so I need to step back and realize how easy it is to get sucked in & before I know it my "free" time is spent wishing for stuff I want & really don't need. I feel a bit guilty as well, like did I really need it or did I just want to have my relaxation time back??

On to brighter things...Iris turns 2 on Friday! We are having the family over to celebrate her first birthday with us ever in America as our daughter & it's going to be so fun to see her reaction to her gifts and all the love shown to her. I'm sure Blake will be nothing but pleased with all the attention granted to her.

The kids LOVE being here. It's really quite fun to watch. They adore going to church and ask about it all week long. They love seeing their cousins. They love seeing their mommett & poppett :)   They love going to the mall, the beach, playing outside and they really love the "new house". It's so reassuring to know they will be raised knowing the closeness of extended family here and a great church they can grow up in.
My favorite Blake expression lately: "Iris cries".  Yes she does Blake, yes she does. (Although she's happy she's also adjusting to so many new things and crying seems to be a fallback for her) Favorite Iris expression? Anytime she's asked a question she responds with a scandinavian/minnesotan sounding "yaaahhhh". It's really cute.
My grandpa continues to be in a nursing home rehab facility & has been for about a month now. It's hard to see him growing old & weak & being that man in a wheelchair with a blanket around his lap because he's cold. I remember visiting the elderly in the nursing home when I was young and they always seemed sooo old & now that's my grandpa there. It breaks my heart. We just have to wait and see what happens.
Joe continues to remind me that I should be the happiest girl in the world b/c we are finally in Florida and I truly am thrilled but I admit it's hard for him to not be employed, to start all over again here & figure out where to serve, balance all that I need and want to do & to be a great mom. There's also the added stress of the pregnancy which I'm thrilled for but will never actually be expecting until late August when it becomes real. Having 4 miscarriages & one full term pregnancy is a recipe for hesitancy & it's strange being that pregnant woman again after my years of struggle. It's still quite fresh.
Well, would you look at that, already after 10pm and I've still got to wash a sink full of dishes. Not having a dishwasher is the perfect recipe for cleaning the kitchen each night. Yes, I truly love being a Floridian. Sunday's are my favorite. Friends are warm and welcoming & I've been blessed beyond measure.

A bit of news...

Getting settled in the new house. Farmer's market on Saturday made me feel like I was on vacation, then I remembered I get to live here now!
Love being at church with my family, love seeing my kids so happy to see their cousins.
Today is Joe's 3rd interview, so we are hopeful. There's a certain stress and uneasiness that goes along with unemployment & I'm ready for that to be over. I'm not used to seeing Joe stressed out (that's my job) and I am not loving it so far.
Last night we painted half the living room, today we are putting in a new to us oven that a friend got for us & replacing one that is from the 60's...it's a good day. Tomorrow we put up a small fence to keep our children from falling to their death into the backyard lake.
Our new home is starting to feel like home. Best part is waking up before the kids in the morning and being able to put on the lights, make the coffee & not have it disturb them. A door is a beautiful thing.
Hopefully the next time I post will be of good news & some pics. I'm waiting till things look a bit more up to par before sharing them. So much to do & yes, so much time. But I want them all done yesterday.
Oh & I'm also 13 weeks pregnant. Kind of been keeping it on the hush hush with my long and not so fun history of miscarriage, but it's getting pretty difficult to hide my bump, so in case you were wondering I've not been loading up on cheesecake and burgers. Not yet.

Future = Exciting

Lots of GOOD changes. We made it here. Had lots of people show up to help us move this afternoon. Cribs & beds are all ready to be slept in this weekend. It is starting to feel like home. There is SO much to do. Have been overwhelmed with the kindness of Lakeside family already. Free furniture & kitchen appliances have already been brought over. Lots of cleaning and putting away. The kids love the "new house" and promise they will sleep great over there tomorrow. Somehow I don't believe that.
Joe did not get the job we had been anxiously awaiting, but he DID get an interview at Tech Data on Monday morning which would be a very perfect fit for what he's been doing the last 13 years at CDW. We are hopeful that this is a clear miracle from the Lord, his perfect answer to our prayers...having income is a good thing :)  In the meantime, we are loving making this place our new home.
What I will miss? Cable. What I love the most? A lake view which is walking distance to my parents. Seeing my family at church every week. Sharing life with family. Sunshine.
 Pictures to come soon I hope.

My fun to do list:
Reupholster dining chairs in cute fabric
Replace chandy
Window treatments
Paint the walls
and about a hundred other things!

So happy to be here...thanks everyone for making us feel so loved.

A floridian at last...

Who knew after marrying Joe 7 years ago & not wanting to leave Florida that by Feb. 2013 my wish would come true! I'm back, baby!
God has been good to us. It's been a bit chaotic over the last week but we are managing to hold our own. Joe flew out for an interview last week & we are still awaiting (eagerly) news if he got the job.
My mom arrived on Saturday, we packed all weekend & when the movers arrived Monday we were nervous to see if all our stuff would fit in the UHaul Pods.It didn't.
So, last minute we had to make a decision to fill a third one or leave a huge amount of stuff behind. We decided to keep our stuff so there goes another chunk of change and we had to fill it ourselves. Cue mom, Joe and I frantically trying to get it done while the kids slept on the egg crates on the floor we had saved.
We flew out that night, Joe sold his car that evening, got the rest of the place cleared out & today we closed on the condo. It's really satisfying to have this chapter closed. Thought it might be more sad leaving our home that we started our married life in & brought Blake home (and Iris too)...but as I held their hands and said bye bye house with them, it was just time to go. We are ready!

It's been a good week, but also trying to be here without Joe, look at all the tlc this new house needs & still be unsure of Joe's status with being employed. It was good news today that I can take down some very sad vertical blinds, give a fresh coat of paint and update some lighting in our new place.
Everything feels dirty so a good cleaning is in order and I'm dying to slap some paint up on that wall. For anyone curious I'm going with a very neutral gray called Dolphin Fin by Behr & I can't wait. Thankgoodness for pinterest/blogs to help me out there. No more navy blunders.
We sold lots of furniture and threw out a ton so on my never ending list to get is a dining table & chairs, a desk, something to put the TV on, a dresser for our bedroom and on and on it goes.

I will do my best to get some before pictures posted so I can have one of those amazing transformations. It can't be all that I hope since I can't do anything drastic, but a few small changes should make a world of difference.
As for now, I'm trying to keep the kids feeling secure, hoping our stuff arrives the end of next week & Joe makes it safely down here. It's not an easy drive to do alone!

Style by Iris

Iris loves to put on my black gloves. Much of the time we can only find one & so this is just her chilling, michael jackson style.

When I bring this to her attention she responds with "don't criticize what you can't understand", only she says it in Ahmaric. Point taken, Iris.

Losing It - My top 10

10 Signs You are Losing Your Mind

1. You cry over nothing or everything.
2. Little Caeser's actually tasted really good to you.
3. You wish you had showered yesterday because you can't today & tomorrow is looking sketchy too
4. You absolutely go nuts because your new clearance pillow got a food stain on it and you try to explain this to your 1 yr old.
5. You continue watching Tom & Jerry even when your kid lost interest in the episode 5 minutes ago.
6. You cannot leave the house till it warms up to 20 degrees.
7. You trust two toddlers in a small closet together playing a game.
8. Try to get through a rough day and not open your bible (what are you crazy?)
9. You pack up all your kid's clothes so they have to wear the same thing every day for a week unless you wash it every day.
10. You are still wearing what you had on after church on sunday.

Yep, on top of all this Joe is leaving on Thurs, returning Friday after an interview, mom arrives Saturday, movers come Monday & boarding a plan mon night with mom and kids. Calgon, take me away!

And so it goes...

Well, here's the scoop. Joe did not get the transfer with CDW. They won't even throw him a bone and give him a few weeks to work from the Florida office so now the whole team has to scramble to find his replacement and it's just so ridiculous to me. Oh well, after 13 years it's clear they don't care a whole lot about their employees & they will never have someone as great as Joe in that position, that's for sure.
So, cue the panic button. No job in Florida. Well, we knew this was a possibility when we put our place on the market last winter. Truth is, it's pretty challenging to seriously be on the job hunt when you live in a different state. I always felt if we were located in Florida he'd have a better chance of finding something. Joe's been working so hard to apply & get so much done...and still nothing. Until today.
He's gone a phone interview on Monday (please pray!) with a good company and if all goes well he'd fly down for a face to face interview next week at some point. My mom is arriving on the 26th & helping me to fly down with the kids on the 28th.
I don't know if I remember the last time I felt the pressure and stress of life in such a unique way, but it's a good place to be ...needy & desperate for the Lord to work a miracle and depend on Him.
Our place closes on the 31st & poor Joe has to drive my car across the country all by himself. What a man.
I look forward to looking back a few months from now and see all that He has accomplished & brought to pass in this crazy little adventure.

So far so good

It's not been the calmest week back...Iris got a cough & fever in the night. That is actually the first time she's ever woken us from sickness in the night. Guess there's a first for everything :)

We continue to wait news of a transfer for Joe (or any job for that matter)but we did get great news about our place - after all this time we are closing at the end of the month!!! So glad to put this place behind us and press on in our new adventure as a family.  Lots of packing & boxing up...lots of purging and organizing and lists of what has to be done. Soon!

Today, in celebration of the new life that awaits I got a new haircut. Now you wouldn't think that I could get a whole lot shorter, but you'd be wrong. Walked in and saw the coolest cut on a girl & thought now that would be adventurous....and I did it. It was the first time I remember feeling nervous about a hairstyle but so worth it because I love it! Colleen @ Paul Hyland Salon in Crystal Lake is so super talented and man will I miss her.
I'd post a picture but I can't for the life of me seem to upload a pic on the blog lately, not sure why. Anyway, it's a bit wild, even for me. Let's just say I've been buzzed in places and leave it at that.

Lots of good things going on, now let's just hope Joe finds work SOON and maybe I'll do a cartwheel.

Fresh start ahead. Hello 2013.

Happy New Year!!! Hope everyone enjoys celebrating 2012 & all that awaits in 2013...I can't wait to see what happens. The future is unknown but I'm so glad that I can rest in God's plan for my life - nothing is unknown to Him!  Ready, set & ....

Wait.

Joe and I just went and looked a home to rent here in Florida that we both loved.
The perfect location + great price = incredible to us. It is so hard to not have any idea whether this will work out. Joe continues to look for work here in the area & so far not so great.

We still don't know when we will have to be out of our place , it could be soon, but still - the job has to be there to move into a home! It is SO HARD TO WAIT. I remember thinking adoption waiting was tough. Yes it was. Did that prepare me to deal better with waiting? Well, it seems I will forever need growth in this weak area.

I want to trust the Lord that He will provide this place because it would be so wonderful - it has been a while since I've wanted something so badly.
Can only stand by and see how the Lord works & what He wants for us...

Good times

Having a great time in Florida. Drinking up spending time with family. So fun to see the kids happy & running around with their cousins. Such a delight to be with the people who I love most in this world.
Hoping everyone has a truly lovely Christmas & New Years.

Still waiting to hear from the bank. Still wondering if we'll be Floridian residents soon or not quite so soon. Stay tuned!

Today

Please pray for my grandpa. He is in his late 80's and has battled years of health issues / hospital visits & most recently dementia. My grandma lovingly cares for him every day but now that he's in the hospital we really don't know what the future holds. This is a huge stress on my grandma and my mom.
My parents safely made it home from a week of ministry in Honduras with my dad, brother and sister in law, my niece Abby & some others from the church. It's a lot going on!
My uncle Marty arrives in Clearwater a few hours before us tomorrow & I can't wait to see him as it's been several years since we spent a day together.

It's been interesting to watch Blake and Iris's reaction to packing up stuff and putting things in boxes. They are both trying to figure out why, but for the most part Blake likes reading the words that are on the boxes. We continue to wait on the bank for a closing date & other details that are affecting this short sale outcome. It's slowly eating away my sanity.
Last Christmas we were prepping for our big first trip to Ethiopia, this year we are prepping for our long anticipated move to Florida...wonder what next year will bring...

My sweet Iris

Our sweet Iris Michele has been home for 8 months and I realize I have not written a post directly about her yet in quite some time...

A year ago at this time we didn't know what to expect - we had seen her picture and eagerly were awaiting to hold her, meet her & have her feel "real".
The first time we met her she was sick & quite subdued. This was NOT the real Iris :)  
The second trip to Ethiopia when we actually got to take her home with us, well, I should have known something when she was the only child that day getting placed who screamed bloody murder because she was so attatched to her caregivers. Honestly, that was a good thing, but I remember thinking honey, please stop crying, you are making me look like I am not doing something right. Mostly I remember feeling sad for her  that day because she was leaving a world that she had felt safe in and entering a new phase which must have been so scary.

Fast forward to our first month together. I don't say this much but to be honest I really struggled. I expected the transition to not be so hard with two children. It was REALLY hard. Still is, at times. I didn't know how to respond when she would fall on the floor screaming or when she would almost shake when food was being prepared because she felt so desperate to eat. Of course you read about these issues, but in our case that was years ago & somehow I thought it wouldn't quite be so stressful.

We were very fortunate that she has mellowed these past few months as she feels more bonded to us and honestly from the start she connected with us quite well. She began almost immediately to call us mama and daddy and was very quick to give us affection.

More and more I realize that the hardest thing about raising Iris is that she makes me aware of my sinfulness! She pushes my buttons, she drops things on my toes/feet causing me to shriek in pain almost daily & follows me around like a lost puppy. She makes lots of messes, loves to throw things in anger, cries at the top of her lungs when she doesn't get her way and I realize just how selfish I am by how I respond to all these things.

Her positives far outweight these small negatives. This girl LOVES me and Joe. She laughs, giggles & kisses us. She forgives me time and time again when I lose my cool and she loves to snuggle in our laps and just be near to us. She is a very girly girl who loves shoes, wearing jewelry & getting dressed in cute outfits.
She brings Blake his drink each night, she hands him toys, she eats whatever I make (are you listening Blake?) and she is quite brilliant. That girl can unscrew any cap you give her, which I found out after an entire container of bubbles made their way to our carpet.
Can I just talk for a moment about her body? It is SO CUTE I can't stand it. Her face is like a doll, she can mimick any look I make...she has these great little chunky legs that are irresistable & a chest that is catching up to me :)  Nomatter what she has on she looks like a million bucks.

I love that she is a part of our family. I love that this Christmas she will get to be surrounded by so many people who love her and prayed for her and helped her to be our daughter. I love so much about her and I don't deserve to have such a beautiful sweet Ethiopian daughter. Oh yeah, and Blake is kind of crazy about her too, which causes me to swoon from time to time when I watch them hold hands or hug.
I have everything I could want this Christmas because I have Joe , Blake & Iris and get to share them all with my wonderful family in Florida. God has been so good.

Let the craziness begin...

Busy time ahead - places to go & people to see! We leave for Florida in less than two weeks, the sale of our home could be upon us quickly or we could be back to square one...only time will tell. Needless to say I'm going to begin a very thorough purging process just in case.

Lots of life changing decisions are happening right now & even though it's a bit scary it's exciting. Blake & Iris continue to bring me many joys among many challenges. It's been a fun couple of days with them recently and I love to see how quickly they are growing up.

Blake loves to hold my hand, give me kisses and say "mooommmyyy" quite endearingly (is that a word?) He is very opinionated about his clothing, his food & his toys. We had a couple wardrobe changes the other day and I thought who is this kid? Oh yeah, my son.

Iris makes so many cute faces, continues to love her teddy bears & dolls (no Iris don't eat them!) & she is a great help to me. Always quick to clean up, put things away and do what she can around here to help. It's strange to think a year ago we had not even met her yet.
Well, better get off this computer & start throwing things out. If anyone in the area locally is needing a new dresser or tv/media unit check out craigslist or get in touch with me. I'm ready to part with this stuff!