Wednesday, May 30, 2012

5 Things that happened today

1. Blake got stung by a bee this morning & clung to me crying for a good while. I hate bees even more now that they hurt my boy. Also, he just started to initiate kisses in the last day - it's the best! (sorry Joe)

2. Iris skipped lunch due to her pickiness. I decided it's been a month and I'm not going to accomidate her each meal anymore with several choices. She was most certainly less picky when she woke up from her nap.

3. Read a great line from Valley of Vision this morning: "Sanctify and prosper my domestic devotion ,instruction, discipline, example; that my house may be a nursery for heaven..."

4. Found the perfect kelly green spray paint and touched up a few things around the house (Krylon: Emerald Green)

5. Went on a walk on a beautiful night with my family after dinner....Joe pulling Blake in his new little car toy (free find!) and Iris in her little stroller. Cute stuff.

Now is that exciting or what???

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

Today has been sweet. Brought Blake & Iris to Egg Harbor for lunch to celebrate Joe's 40th. It's tradition to get there as often as possible. Blake went when he was less than 2 weeks old. It's our place!
Of course driving to pick up Joe's cake the rain began to pour, so that was fun. After nap time we'll do dessert - pics to follow!
Hope everyone enjoys their long weekend...

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Random Happenings

It is crazy what a walk will do to clear your head. It made me feel so good to get out for 30 min tonight, listen to my shuffle & get lost in my thoughts. Love that.
We had a meal brought over tonight so I didn't have to make dinner, what an incredible treat!
Drove an hour roundtrip to the pediatrician to find out Iris doesn't have tb. Whew.
Joe turns 40 on Saturday, crazy. I remember being at my dad's 40th birthday. That was 19 years ago.
One good thing about being this busy is that I'm forced each morning to be reading God's word, it's the only way I can function each day.

The adjustment is still just that. An adjustment. that is taking a toll. I could have sworn I saw a few gray hairs, but I'll continue to believe they are light blonde. I think the last few days have been tough on Iris with my mom gone, she had been there from the start of her return to the U.S. & it's just one person that has left so there's been a  bit more insecurity.

However, I see lots of improvement too. She calls me mama more than Blake does. She LOVES her daddy and lights up at the sight of him (who doesn't?) Blake geniunely seems to like her which is nice at this point. Today I brought them to the playground where we live and when Joe came walking up Blake went running towards him. We thought it was so sweet until they got close enough to hug and Blake went the other way. Hmmm, still gotta work on that whole "run into your arms" thing.

I got to catch a new Nate Berkus today. Whenever that happens it's a pretty good day, I can't lie. Better bed time is approaching, I'm such an old lady. Oh and I'm kind of looking forward to grocery shopping for some alone time soon. Yes I'm old and pathetic :)

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Bedroom stress (with the babies!)

Just replace this with a pic of Blake or Iris and it couldn't be more true. Lately Blake has decided he likes to wake up around 5:30am. Now ordinarily I would just ignore him till he fell back to sleep. However, with Iris needing her sleep I try to keep the peace and grab him so she won't be disturbed. We are going on a few days of this and it must stop.
Sometimes they are in the same room. Other times she is sleeping in the pack n play in our closet. The problem is she has developed a bit of a cough (only when she sleeps) and she wakes me up with it. For example last night from 3-4 am we were awake hearing her, hoping it would stop soon.
So if I put them in the same room she might wake him with a cough or in the morning he wakes her up ...then I have two crying children to deal with before 6am (she sleeps till 8 usually, he used to sleep till 7am). I'm guessing I should just go to "war" with them, let them both know it is not time to get up & hope that after a few days it will stop.
Nap time is still separate, but we miss our sleep and getting to be in our room in the evening. Silly I know, but nevertheless this stuff is consuming my life!
Not sure what to do about her cough, she was just at the doctor and seemed fine. I need to take her for bloodwork and Blake back to the doctor to see if his ear infection has cleared up. I dread this kind of stuff. Can't stand it.
Okay, that's enough rambling for a sunday evening. On a bright note Joe got me a frap from starbucks that was cookie crumble and tasted amazing. Ahh, the little things.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

The new norm

Terrified. Scared. Overwhelmed. Just a bit of how I'm feeling with my mom leaving today and I'm left to begin the new norm of our family. Even with Iris being with us for a few weeks, I've had the help of family up to this point. Today that changes. No more help getting the diaper bag packed, help getting the two in the car, help changing diapers, getting one up from nap time, a hand with laundry or dinner or snack time, or errands and dr. appointments.
The hardest part is having my mom leave after a week of enjoying her company. Being alone so much of the time is something I struggle with, feeling consumed with all the work of two one year olds is scary enough & I just long to be close my family.
The wonderful part of this goodbye is that God willing it will be shortlived. We are praying and working towards a moving date of July 2012. That is only weeks away. Soon we should get news on our home selling. Soon we should have word about Joe working in Florida. The wheels are in motion and we couldn't be more excited to start our life in Florida.
There is so much work to do packing up our tiny little condo, figuring out the logistics of moving across the country but we know God is in control and I'm so thankful He is answering our prayers and directing our steps to where our hearts desire to be.

When I said "My foot is slipping,"
Your love , O Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
Your consolation brought joy to my soul.
Ps 94:18-19

Thursday, May 10, 2012

That's progress for ya

Each day is getting a bit better. Blake is finally feeling somewhat normal & Iris gets sweeter each day. They are adjusting to each other for short moments at a time and I'm feeling a bit more resolved to handle two one year olds.
To think just two weeks tomorrow we arrived in the US with her it's amazing to see how far she's come. When I arrive back home next week I'll try finding some time to post new pics.
That first week back will be crazy with pediatrician appointments, post placement visit (required for our state within 30 days) and the ever pressing hair cut....along with getting Iris and Blake used to sharing a very small room.
It's nice to actually look forward to mother's day after so many years of dreading that day. I realize now it's not quite as glamorous as I pictured, but God has been good and our familiy is finally complete. It's a  blessing to share the day with my mom, grandma, sister and sister (in law.)

Monday, May 7, 2012

Dear Sleep: I miss you

Blake continues to battle on with a terrible ear infection / fever and is miserable much of the time. Not only is he feeling sick and awful, but he is clingy and upset at the arrival of his sister. He is whining, complaining and much more disobedient than usual. I miss the old Blake, the one who slept through the night nomatter what and was sweet much of the time.
Each night is a battle to get him to bed and it is truly wearing on me! In the meantime, Iris has made vast strides and sleeps through the night for 13 hours. She is happy, loves to eat and play and even took a few steps on her own today.
I can't wait for the two of them to start liking each other, both be healthy and happy and then just maybe I'll make it :)  Being a mom is so much harder than I ever thought!!!!

Friday, May 4, 2012

A new day

Today was better with Iris. It was Blake that caused the drama. At 1:30am I awoke to his cries which is crazy unusual b/c even when he's really sick the boy sleeps through the night. Two nights ago he did the same thing and we ended up putting him to bed with us.
I didn't want to deal with it though for the second night in a row and thought he just wanted to be held instead of sleeping. After an hour of thinking it was a discipline issue (oops!)it was apparent that something was not right. We tried to comfort him and by 3am he was inconsolable. The screaming and crying continued, Joe even took him for a drive close to 4am to try and lull him to sleep, but nothing seemed to help. Thankfully Iris was a trooper, she awoke once but went right back to sleep.
At 5:30am we decided to take him to an ER type facility only to find out it is only open in the middle of the night. By 7am we had found another place and heard from the doctor what we thought was the case, which was a bad ear infection causing him tons of pain. His play time in the pool that morning didn't help!
Getting home around 8:30 Iris has just woken, full of smiles ...we got Blake his meds by 10am and the rest of the day improved. I was hoping it would be a better day with Iris with a few less tears and God was merciful to answer my prayers. She was overall much sweeter and happier and I felt so relieved.
They both took great naps & I am hoping with the pain med and antiobiotics that Blake makes it most of the night.
We decided to venture to the mall late afternoon and walk around for a little while which turned out to be somewhat therapeutic. Just feeling like a family and being out the four of us was fun , already got the twin question within minutes, gotta love it.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

And life was never the same

For three years my mind has been consumed with adoption. It started out simply - I want a baby NOW. Then it was deciding where to adopt from, which agency to use, boy or will we pay for this, which homestudy to use, and so on. Busy busy with paperwork, waiting & I guess I thought once this baby was FINALLY home, it would be peace and harmony. Life would be a nice little fairytale with a boy and girl, a family of four & we'd be so happy.
Well, I'll be blunt - it's been rough. Joe and I are completely exhausted and worn out. Having an 18 month old doesn't help, but bringing Iris home has been more of a challenge than I ever thought about. I don't mean to complain, this is the girl that God has chosen to be in our lives, but it hasn't been that perfect little click that I thought we'd experience once we held her. She cries and fusses a lot. She has no idea what I am saying. She falls down and sobs for no apparent reason. Her stinky diapers are the most vial thing I have ever come across. It's a challenge to pay equal attention to her and Blake. We have lots of debt from the trip which is stressful. We have a move to Florida this summer that we are completely unsure of how to make happen. There is a ton more paperework to figure out with post adoption, social security card, medical coverage.... She has already gotten Blake sick since being home. I don't feel like her mommy yet.
I told myself these weeks would be difficult, but I don't think I truly understood how they would feel. Joe is here helping me a long with my mom and I still don't know how I am going to do this once it's just me and them alone. (How do you moms out there with more than one child do this?!)
Anyway, all that to say - I need a lot of prayer, a lot of patience, and a lot more love for this tender sweet girl who is forever my daughter.