What Led Us to Adoption

In November 2007 I first learned what a miscarriage was. I had heard of them before of course, but never felt the impact until it personally happened. The next miscarriage was worse, it was June 2008 and I was at the Dr. to hear the heartbeat which never came. In a state of panic and shock I sobbed home from the doctor office and had the remains of the baby taken away the following day through a D&C.

December 2008 was my third miscarriage, also about 12 weeks along...also followed by a D&C that did not go as well as the first which required an additional D&C 6 weeks later. One day of testing showed nothing wrong with my body, no reason as to why it kept happening. It was at this point in the winter/ early spring of 2009 that I began to look into adoption. Up to that point it never occured as an option, unless it was "a last resort". I truly never had a heart for orphans and the thought of adoption had seemed like an insensative comment instead of a miraculous and wonderful decision.

As soon as I began to read about orphans in Ethiopia my heart broke for these souls that were without a family, without much food and clothing, no hope for the future...then I realized this is NOT ABOUT ME! I was so consumed with wanting to be a mother that I wasn't even caring about the life of so many children that needed to be part of a family. There was a sadness as I resolved myself to the fact that I would never have a biological child, but by God's grace there was acceptance too.

In April 2009 we filled an application out for CWA (Christian World Adoption) and were hoping to have a baby within a year from the program. A few months into the homestudy process I became pregnant and miscarried again. I felt hopeless and down, but the thought of a baby needing me and it not depending on my physical body gave me encouragement and helped me press on. It took us almost a year to send our paperwork to Ethiopia. We have never had an abundance of money and the process and fees were high. However, the Lord always provided through different ways exactly what we needed and when.

In March 2010 our paperwork went to Ethiopia. Shortly before that happened I had a positive pregnancy test. Assuming no baby would ever be born due to my past I prayed quite a bit and waited to be heartbroken. This time God's plan was a bit different. Blake Joseph Cotton was born in October 2010 and was a healthy miracle. I never imagined we would have a son, but in His grace He gave us one just when we needed him. His birth didn't effect our wait because time had slowed way down in the program so we waited, and waited, and waited. We were told March 2011 would be a referral, but it never came.
There was a phone call in April that gave us hope it would be any day, but then we learned our dossier had expired and a new homestudy / dossier would have to be complete before a referal.

This was all very frustrating and overwhelming, but we got it done and waited all summer. It felt like this was never going to happen and the entire process was all in my head! Then September 9, 2011 happened. We got the phone call that we had waited on for years, a little girl named Tarikwa was going to be ours. She was born March 1, 2011 (they assume) and we couldn't have been more excited!

We were told that things were going very slow and it would probably be spring until we would make our first trip. As disappointing as that was, we were just so happy to have a picture, an identity of who this precious girl was. We soon found out in December that our court date was Jan 2, 2012 and we would have to be there by December 28,2011!  This was beyond thrilling but so much to do...

We traveled the day after Christmas and was able to meet our girl on December 29,2011 for the first time. I can't express with words what it is like to have all that paperwork, the tears, the emotional toil just melt away as soon as I held her. It was like I had just given birth and that love that overwhelmed me with Blake was the exact same as I saw her right away. Before time began, God knew she belonged in our family. He orchestrated the events of the miscarriages so that my heart would be broken for the orphans of this world. He gave me the desire, he gave Joe the desire, He put it on other people's hearts to support us so it was even a possibility! God is so good to us and even though events don't always seem to make sense at the time, we can't see the fabric that is behind the scenes.

It will hopefully only be a few weeks until we travel to take her home with us. All this waiting teaches me that I have no control over anything! Years ago I didn't know if we would ever have children. I felt the pain of being infertile and the longing to hold a baby in my arms and if God had chosen to never fulfull that it would still be okay. He is always trustworthy, always good and gives each one what is best. I am grateful and would encourage anyone who is waiting, suffering, or hurting to rest in God's plan for your life and not your own!

Adoption is not a last resort, instead it should be a first resort if that is something the Lord puts on your heart. There are 5 millions orphans in Ethiopia alone, hundreds of thousands world wide. Who will take care of these children and give them a home where they are loved and nurtured? Think of the money we put into luxuries, pets, vacations...when this time on earth is through we can't take any of that with us. What we can make count for eternity is whether we invested in people. Yes, it is a sacrifice and it takes lots of time and patience and money, but if God wants you to adopt, then He will have to provide the way for it to happen. There is an entire world of people who are in the midst of adoption and would love support, encouragement, and financial help. It would be great if people cared enough to invest in such a life changing decision.