Desire Less

So easy to get caught up with wanting more stuff, especially this time of year...praying to be content this season & beyond with what I've been given & not covet for more. I have a daughter this year for Christmas, my 3rd Christmas with Blake & a husband who continues to love me much more than I deserve.

It's been a worldwind of a week...started out with a bad cold & a phone call on Tuesday that we were to be in court for Iris's readoption on Wednesday. 
I feel like I'm still in recovery mode from getting up at 5am and lugging them around the city for a couple hours, but it went smooth and I'm so relieved to be done with it. We probably will miss out on any government tax credit unless Congress extends it, but atleast we did what we could.

By our choice it was a very low key & quiet thanksgiving and I enjoyed not having to leave the house. Although I went to somewhat greater lengths to make a nice meal, Blake still didn't give me his approval and hardly touched his plate. Iris liked some things but rejected my cornbread casserole (which to me makes the whole meal). I stayed up late watching Hallmark movies & enjoyed every minute.

Today is usually a day that I LOVE to shop, but I couldn't bring myself to shower, get dressed, face the cold & long lines...I just didn't have the fight in me. Tomorrow is a whole other story. I've been laying low now for a few days so I think I'm ready to brave a couple of places.
Although it is nice to have a quiet holiday weekend I can hardly wait for the craziness of being in Florida with my family and having lots of noise and fun going on with everyone. It's always a tough reminder to be away for special occasions.

I can't help but remember some tough thanksgiving weekends in the last few years. My first miscarriage was on thanksgiving in 2007...2008 I was pregnant & miscarried a few weeks later...2009 we had some more adoption paperwork to finish up before it went to Ethiopia and even last year we were wondering when we would meet our daughter. It's truly incredible to see God's faithfulness to me and His timing in my life. I have so much to give thanks for.

LOVE

"You wonderful wonderful thing you..."

These days

Long days. Lots of coughing & runny noses. Also though, lots of laughter & smiles. They both ran around tonight in circles for 10 minutes when it was time to go to sleep.
It's kind of cute because they used to be so ready for bed at 7pm once we'd read a few stories. Now they love to run around and have a few more minutes to just let out some steam.

We are finally in the process of readopting Iris, getting her name changed, a US birth certificate & hopefully will have this done while there is still an adoption tax credit. We were told by our attorney today court should be the end of the month or early December. Nothing but the best time of the year to bring the kiddos downtown for some winter fun.

Still continue to wait on the house / short sale, hope to get some feedback at the end of the week since it's been 2 weeks since our appraisal.

Today I was feeling kind of down and got tears in my eyes & asked Blake for a hug and he came over to hug me, saw the tears and goes " ohhh nooo"...made me laugh. That boy is getting too smart. He recognizes almost every letter he sees, starting to talk in phrases & notices EVERYTHING that is going on.
When we try teaching Iris sounds and letters it's the same sound nomatter what, which also makes us crack up. She imitates our faces too, I'll make a crazy face & she imitates it and we get quite a kick out of that.

It's still long days though with the cooler weather, lack of family & stress of sickness. I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week! This is the first year to celebrate as a family and I'm excited to see how Iris will react to all the good food (that girl eats anything I give her, which is a welcome relief after Blake). Unless it's pizza, cheese, or yogurt he cries at each bite he is told to eat. Keeps a girl humble.
What do other mom's do when they are homebound with a sick kid? (Already took them to library & target this week)...

Tuesday Truth

I LOVE THIS!

"So many people in our society are totally consumed with the body—they decorate it, build it up, extravagantly clothe it, put it in a nice car, send it off to a nice house, stuff it full of food, sit it in a comfortable chair, hang a bunch of jewelry all over it, take it out on a boat, let it swim, teach it to ski, take it on a cruise, and so on. But life is not contained in those things; it transcends all the externals. Life comes from God—and the fullness of life from Jesus Christ." - John MacArthur

Even when you begin to tell me no...Blake. Even when you run the other way screaming... Iris. Yes - through all the poopy diapers, tiring nights & exhausting days...my love only grows stronger.
Children are a blessing (repeat often!)
Remember that old song "I count it as a priviledge, I count it cause for praise, to kiss my children goodnight at the close of every day. For I know too soon they're off and gone, and walking out the door, and I'll never have a child to kiss goodnight anymore.
It's very strange how time has changed from the present to the past. When did they grow so quickly the time has gone so fast. For it seems that only yesterday I helped with with his shirt...patting my baby on the back, kiss away a hurt...tell a story , read a book, wipe the nose or tie a shoe. They never ask me to rub their back the way they used to do. Once it was a bother, just a trouble some kind of chore. Now I would give anything to hear it just once more..."

Good reminder for today after a long dr. appt & hearing Blake has croup. Hoping it leaves this home quickly & stays clear of Iris.

Countdown to FLORIDA: 4 weeks from Friday. Bliss awaits.

Sickness, you awful beast I despise...

After a solid month health streak it seems Blake has a bad cough...maybe croup. The symptoms appear to be that & so we'll see if it gets better soon or we'll be dr. bound...again. Hopefully Iris will stay healthy.

Joe & I got to attend a work dinner together Friday night for the first time ever. Kind of crazy that the restaurant was in the same parking lot that I purchased my wedding dress at. "Auntie Kristi & Uncle Gavin" bravely traveled out with their precious baby boy and watched our kids for the night. What wonderful friends we have.

My fun moment of the day was running into Goodwill today after I grocery shopped and found some legos for the kids (their first set) and a hot little navy ikat pillow that called out to me to take it home. I couldn't resist.

Here's hoping for a little more rest tonight. As much fun as it was being awake from 3am on, I'm ready to have one good night of sleep for recovery...somehow doubting that will be tonight. Iris has begun to cry out in her sleep. I run in to check and calm her (because those cries get VERY loud very fast) but she's totally out. Kind of crazy.

Anyone else out there familiar with croup? What worked for you?

Here's to a wild week of sleepless nights, cuddling, library time, and couch love.

God Loves Orphans

My dad taught a great message this past Sunday about adoption. If you want to listen go to www.lakesidechapel.com and it's under recent sermons (11-4-12). Yes, I realize how blessed I am :)

A day in the city (pictures)

Adoption Sunday

I had the privilege of sharing in church this morning about our adoption experience and I wanted to share it here on my blog since Iris and adoption is the reason I began to write this blog. Enjoy!

Well, adoption has not always been near and dear to my heart. As a matter of fact, 3 1/2 years ago before we began the process of adoption I didn't care about adoption, I didn't think about the plight of orphans and I really only saw it as a plan b or last resort. Thankfully over the last few years God has shown me how wrong that view is and I'd like to share with you how that change came about.

In early 2009 I had my 3rd miscarriage and I was in a lot of pain. I remember someone flippantly saying why don't you just adopt and it felt insensative and made me angry.
You see, I had a vision of how my family would come to be and it didn't involve adoption. My view was very narrow and I just assumed it was my right to get pregnant and carry a baby to term. I didn't think that God might want to bring about our family differently.
I was so anxious to be a mother that I began to look into adoption because I was curious and what I found blew me away. A veil was lifted and for the first time I saw a world I knew nothing about. I was so saddened by the need, especially Ethiopia. That country was just heavy on my heart for some reason & so I read mostly about Ethiopia & the statistics broke my heart.
Just to name a few:
1 in 10 children die before their first b-day
1 in 6 children die before they turn 5
Annual income is less than 160.00
47% of population live below poverty rate
Average life expectancy is 48 for a man, 50 for a woman
Estimated number of street children 100,000 & in the capital of Addis 40,000

After reading these heartbreaking facts I became excited to adopt. It was so much bigger than my pain and my desire - what did God want to do through Joe and I to begin a family. It didn't matter if I had a house full of children or could never get pregnant again - I wanted to adopt.
So, we began the long 3 year process & it was a lot of work. Financially it was impossible, but every step of the way God provided a way and it was such an encouragement to us when people would give financially because it showed us how great God is and to see that others would invest in our family and care about adoption - it reminded us of how little we are and how great God is.

Last December, the day after Christmas we flew to Ethiopia for the first time to meet our daughter Iris. I will never forget meeting her, it was one of the greatest moments of my life and I recall looking into her eyes and telling her "you will never be alone again. You are not an orphan anymore. You have a family, a mom and dad who love you." It was so special and yet there are so many needy ones out there who don't have that. I would urge you if you never considered adoption or thought one day you might want to adopt to seek the Lord concerning this. The need is great and time marches on. If Christian's don't step up and help give these orphans homes then who will?
If you don't feel led to do anything than help those who do. I can't tell you how exhausting the process is...it's emotionally draining, very invasive of your privacy, (all a labor of love though) financially overwhelming and so to have people come along and care and give and pray, it's a huge encouragement.
Also I'd suggest reading Adopted for Life by Russell Moore. I don't think there's another book out there which has such great content with a biblical perspective on adoption. I love his line when asking a couple who are considering adopting but wanting that first child to be biological "do you want to be parents or conservators of your genetic material?"

So today adoption is very near and dear to me. If I had never miscarried and had that loss then I never would have looked into adoption and I wouldn't have my daughter and I'd be missing out...and I wouldn't even know it.

When You Thought

This made me cry so I thought I'd share it. I like making people cry.

I'll be back tomorrow to share what I'm talking about in church for adoption Sunday. Last year at this time we had not even met Iris and now she's been in our lives for 6 months.

Bye bye October

This week @ a glance...

Lunch with Melanie Grenelle, what a treat! My friend was in town for business & we had a great catch up at Maggiano's (while the kids slept & Joe worked from home so I was a free woman!)

Ringworm? Sure, why not...Blake picked it up from somewhere & it seems to be infected as well so thankfully we got that under control today

The house is finally getting appraised! We've had a contract since June & we are finally getting this placed appraised...an answer to prayer.

Prepping for Sunday & sharing about our adoption story at church...plan on sharing it on the blog later on this weekend

Worst pinterest meal this week: pumpkin fettuccine (not terrible, but disappointing)
Best pinterest meal this week: chili

Remember, one week from today is voting day. If you are voting Romney, don't forget! If for Obama, then please ignore this reminder.

Saturday we are taking the kiddos to the city for the first time as a family. Joe got free tickets to Museum of Science & Industry. Hopefully it won't be a tragic mistake and we'll have a good time.

That's all the excitement here! Ready for November.

 

 

It's amazing to see a family picture to me at times. At one point we only dreamed of having children, the adoption felt like it would never be over & my pregnancy with Blake was beyond stressful. Now here we are, all together. How can I not give God all the glory for giving me these children....

With adoption Sunday fast approaching I've been thinking a lot about our story with Iris & how it felt to finally meet her. I've also been thinking of how little I used to care about adoption and how foolish my view used to be. She has changed my world and shown me so much just in these last 6 months. Some days I still can't believe she's ours. It was a long road but so worthwhile.

 "A man works from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done"

Nothing a few new knobs won't fix

I was at Anthropologie today with my good friend Sara Jones & I couldn't help but fall in love with these clearance knobs. I know I should have resisted but I just needed a little luxury in the midst of the stresses of life. These days are sweet but very tiring with sick kiddos, short sale craziness, homesickness for Florida and family & everyday stresses of life. Finding these just made me smile.

10-13-10 The day that changed my life

"They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up"

-Lullaby (Dixie Chicks)

My darling Blake, I will love you to death all the rest of your days. I'm so thankful that God let you live inside me and has blessed me each day by watching you grow. You are the light of my life and I am so thrilled to be your mom. Happy 2nd Birthday my sweet little "shakes"...you are so special to me.
Your loving mom

Mama

As I went to pick up Blake and Iris from BSF this morning (bible study fellowship) for the first time Iris came running to me saying "mama". Melt. My. Heart. Of course around the house she says momma but never in that situation before where she recognizes me from across the room and calls it out. Love it. Blake also woke up shouting out momma this morning, which is a first. For the record, he's also saying "poppet" all the time, which is our name for my dad (mommett for my mom). So cute.

Of course the sweet moment was followed up with the twins question & and then the comment that makes me cringe "oh so he's yours and she's adopted" - how can I begin to say how much I hate that phrasing? I know what people mean, but it still drives me nuts. I just responded quickly by saying they are both mine, actually...I need to just let those things not even bug me.

Blake is scared in the car lately while driving, thinking parts of the car is a "bee" so now I hold his hand. Who says you need two hands to drive a car? :)
So glad the craziness from the week is letting up, can't wait to not have anything on the schedule tomorrow. I'm wiped.

Important to consider before you vote:

Abortion has always been a very important topic to me (my hatred of it, actually). It's heavy on my heart to share this & it's not done in a mean spirit, but only to express how strongly the Bible is on this topic. Heard an incredible message by John MacArthur on this topic, why we simply can not vote for a party that advocates the slaughtering of babies. Here are some notes I wrote as I listened to him speak. If for no other reason to vote for Romney & not for Obama please consider the issue of abortion:

Democratic Platform is Romans 1:
Pass out condoms - Experience sexual freedom and fornication (indication of demise of a nation)
Kill baby till the 9th month
Leaving God out of platform, then adding it on...wish they would not do that...To connect God with that agenda is a horror...taking His name in vein (he shouldn't be in either agenda)
Platform out of what God hates!
Not voting for pastor or spiritual leader - some sense of morality needed in this leader!
Punish evil doers, have someone in power who knows good and evil
To take a life is to strike a blow at God because He is the giver of life

Advocacy for support of slaughter of infants, any sense of justice?

Democrats Pride themselves on defending the weak, but murder them in the womb when they are the most weak...what kind of hypocrisy
Makes Nazi holocaust look small
1.5 million a year - 4,000 a day
One baby is killed every 95 seconds @ Planned Parenthood
Pregnancy is a "sexually transmitted disease" to them

You'd be arrested for doing this to an animal but legal to kill children each day
Slaughtering infants in the safest place: the womb
Satan goes after babies (time of Moses & Jesus the government wanted to slay children two and under)
This is a platform that they ADVOCATE
They say matter of freedom for women - lie! The baby is not her body, it's a child that is a person made in image of God.
Murder is back up for failed birth control
Criminals are prosecuted for killing pregnant women & their unborn, but pregnant women who kill their baby are not
Person being murdered is something you can now vote for

Conception is act of God - He creates LIFE. Children are a gift FROM THE LORD. Simple as that.
The Lord opens and closes womb. God gives to all life and breath - we live because He gave us life. "You send forth spirit, they are created"  Rom 11 - everything is by Him and for Him.

"You formed my inward parts" - PS 139 "Wove me in mother's womb"  "Fearfully and wonderfully made"
Creation of God, by God, sees that unformed fetus - every life conceived lives forever
Nothing changes creation of God, whether it was incest or rape, it's still a work of God that brings about that conception. God grants life and keeps that life alive in womb
Abortion is anti God act
Every person created in image of God (Gen 1)
No baby is a sexual accident or pile of tissue or part of mother's body - it is a person made by God
Every creation is special object of care - should be safest place on planet. Imagine criminals invading mother's body, the unborn to hurt them (It would be an outrage)
God condemns murder
Blatant paganism, moral collapse of society when babies are being killed.
Overruling grace redeems murdered infants (doesn't make it right, His grace overrules this sin)
PS 22 "You have been my God from my mother's womb". 
Forgiveness for that sin - if you hate someone you are as bad as a murderer (Can murderer's be forgiven, ask apostle Paul - yes)

Just some very good thoughts to consider as we approach an election where one candidate is a staunch supporter of this act and one is not.

 

 

Can't believe October is here - lots of birthday's in our family from now till Christmas but the next one is the 13th & our sweet little Blake Joseph (should be Shepherd...I'll always be bitter) will be turning 2. How can that be? Wasn't I just nursing him, trying to figure out his schedule and how to lose that extra 50 pounds I gained? The reality of having a baby after all the years of longing for one had been granted and I felt completely overwhelmed.

 

A year ago at this time we had the referral and were making Christmas plans...no idea that we'd be traveling to Ethiopia the day after Christmas for our court appointment. I'm glad we are at where we are, it's been a rough couple years getting here and I'm grateful.

It's all too easy to focus on the one thing I don't have that I feel like I "need" - Florida. I'm reminded of God's completely different time table with every step these last couple of years and rest in His timing, but it's getting so hard as winter approaches and our short sale looms on. I can't wait to look back next year around this time and see how it all works out.

 

So thankful for the weekend, for relaxation & fun plans. Tonight my evening involves a glass of wine & some TV and I couldn't be more relieved :)

 

5 Random Iris facts:

1. Is finally growing out of her 6-12 month shoes at 19 months!

2. Doesn't make a peep after her afternoon nap, waits for me to come get her after 3 hours!

3. Eats anything put in front of her, even spicy stuff. God bless her

4. Loves to help me with little things around the house like cleaning up, throwing things away and closing drawers.

5. Will try to say any word I tell her & gives out kisses before being asked.

6. Careful - she bites! (Working on that)

Rambling Thoughts

It's been a tiring week so far. Oh wait, it's only Tuesday. Is it crazy that I'm already dreaming of Christmas? Maybe that's because I haven't seen my family since May and even then I was completely overwhelmed with bringing Iris home...so yeah, it's been way too long. Hoping we can find a great deal on tickets & Joe can take off a decent amount of time from work, along with working from the tampa office.

Took the kids for a walk this afternoon & of course within a matter of minutes I got the how old are question (understandable, but really, we are just walking by - is it that important to know?) then I got defensive when a couple of young girls stopped and stared @ Iris and I. One of the girls asked "those your babies?" I said yes & she said "both of them?" to which I responded "he is our biological son and we brought her home from Ethiopia, so yes, they are both my babies."  Then she said "so they were adopted?"  I said something quickly that I can't remember and walked off in a huff. I know to expect this, but sometimes it just gets old.  The kids are young now so they don't know what I'm saying but I really don't want it akward for them when they are a bit older. It's unfair to her & even though I read all about this prior to the adoption I feel a bit weary of it. Anyone have any better ideas for responding to the constant questions?
I think when people ask their ages it's their polite way to figure out if they are twins or if one or both are adopted. It's quite clever, and I'd probably say it too, but it still gets old because I have to explain the adoption anyway. I need to see it as an opportunity for witnessing and how God opened our hearts and made a way with Iris and Blake - but most days it just feels intrusive & annoying.

Enough about that....sorry for the tangent! I've been busy fixing my navy bathroom, applying a second coat, painting the baseboards white  & painting the door and trim as well. I'm tired of all the work and wish I never would have touched it to begin with. The second coat made a huge difference though so I'm glad it's done.

Tomorrow morning while I'm at BSF a real estate agent is coming, the one who's client has an offer on our house just to check it out. It's more of a business deal so he never scoped it out in person, but instead placed an offer right away. That puts me under the gun to have this place looking clean and get out the door by 8:30. No small feat!

Blake and Iris had a ball at the Goebbert's in Hampshire over the weekend - I need to post pics because we finally got a good family photo. It was more geared toward kids and so glad that we were able to do it. I will seriously miss the cooler weather of fall here and the changing leaves. The beauty of those red and yellow trees blow me away every year (I guess that's just the Floridian in me that was deprived as a child). Now come December, Jan & Feb I won't feel deprived at all when I'm not freezing in the snow.

Still praying for  a move to Florida before the year comes to a close, but realizing it probably won't happen till our short sale is final and we are forced to go to Florida - come quickly short sale process!
Joe continues to search jobs, but they are few and far between.

Two year ago at this time I was pregnant with Blake & didn't have a clue what was ahead - it just seems crazy now...he'll be 2 so soon! He has his first b-day party for a neighbor friend this weekend. I'm not ready for him to be growing up.
Iris already has her 6 month post op report coming up next week...didn't we always have her here???