So I knew when I married Joe, a very cute African American, I knew that I would forever get stares from people. I got so used to it I really didn't pay much attention anymore. Then Blake came along and of course when most people heard we were adopting too, they assumed he was adopted. We'd get the "oh, where is he from" question and although a part of me wanted to say my uterus, I answered politely "he's biological"...sometimes I'd say he's a miracle, you get the picture.
When Joe and I are out together it kind of makes sense but when it's just Blake and I the confusing looks appear. (I particularly loved when I would leave him in a nursery @ Bible study where people didn't know what Joe looked like and no one would ever bring him to me as I called his name at pick up time b/c they assumed I wasn't his mother).
That was nothing compared to toting around Blake & Iris by myself!
A lot of times I can tell people think I'm the nanny. Most people ask the twin question which brings me to tell them they are close in age, she's from Ethiopia though...I don't always include that fact, but it's kind of confusing to just say "no, they are not twins" and leave it at that. Depends on my mood.
So the other day I took them to the mall for the first time, just me and them. At one store a lady was talking to them both, telling them how cute they were and said "is this your mommy?" to Iris. I said YES I am, kind of bluntly. I had a mall cop follow me for a few minutes, probably just to make sure I didn't steal them. (Yes I noticed you walking side by side with me down the hallway).
I think the nicest comment I get is "looks like you have your hands full" - I seriously do understand how strange it must appear, given my whiteness, but sometimes I miss just getting out, walking in public and not getting "those looks". Anyone with a different race child can understand, it's just different...you stand out. My favorite was in Florida and I was in the back seat with them both and I felt someone looking at us and I glanced over to see a young black woman just flat out staring at us with her window down. I wanted to say take a picture, it will last longer!
When the four of us walk somewhere together we get more smiles and I think people must assume we all make sense because Joe is black and therefore they must be "our kids".
In the future I know it will be much more of a challenge. Iris will know what people are saying when they imply she's not "mine" and there will be lots of questions as to where she came from and why her momma is white. I'm willing to deal with that, and I'm glad she has her brother Blake who although is biological he doesn't look a thing like me either (personally I can see my face in his, but that's another story).
I realized tonight that I'm the minority in my family. Kind of funny, huh? To close this little rant of mine I'd like to quote my brother in law Jason, who asked Joe as he was about to spend his first Christmas with my family said "Is this your first white christmas?" Classic.
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