Make today count

 Yep. Need to remind myself to make every day full of special moments and opportunities to train and love these three souls that have been entrusted to me. Such a challenge!

Oh, crap.

We began potty training Blake when he was 2 1/2 and within 3 days he had it down. No accidents, no stress - it was really quite painless.
Iris of course wanted to do it as well and she successfully began going potty on the toilet without a problem. She was quick to want to wear undies, be like her brother and could tell me each time she had to pee and usually liked to go on her own. That's where my success ends. The poop situation is altogether another story.

For some reason she has an overwhelming fear to go poo on the toilet. I'm talking fall down on the ground screaming like she's being tortured if I say why don't you try to sit for a few minutes on the toilet because I know she's holding her poo in. It has escalated so badly in the last few weeks that she is now holding it in for as long as humanly possible until little by little poo is escaping and she can't keep it hidden. She is lying about it (that doesn't fool me honey) and many times this happens all day long, I'm talking half a dozen times between lunch and nighttime I am cleaning her poop. If you have been unlucky enough to be around her poo you will know that it is beyond the worst smell imaginable. We had her retested for giardia a few months back which came back negative.

I have tried everything and nothing has helped. I could really use prayer and wisdom. I don't know what it is that is causing such irrational fear and I don't want to her stop peeing on the toilet, which will happen if I give up and have her only in diapers. I stopped shortly before Sawyer was born knowing it would be a stressful time... She knows what she is doing (she tells me this) and she purposefully goes into another room and hides to do the deed. If she is bare bottom she will simply start to poop - it doesn't matter. Rewards don't matter to her - I am not getting through and feel so helpless. Any words of wisdom are appreciated! (She is turning 3 on March 1st)

Am I missing something? Attention grabber? Okay, but this is beyond that. A piece of her past? I feel at a loss...