Life lately

 

 

It's been a busy couple of weeks, not a lot of excitement but always crazy and amusing. Blake continues to show us symptoms of sensory processing disorder and how helpful OT would be... hopefully next month we can begin that. (Waiting on other factors - it's never easy!) Iris has determined that she wants to be in diapers for eternity...
I've had glimmers of hope since buying her a Minnie toilet that cheers her on, but she's still afraid at times and even with the help of miralax continues to hold it in with sheer will power. It's really quite astounding. We will have a good day followed with a bad one, or a good morning followed with hours of holding it and her refusing. Mom 0, Iris 1. I'm truly at a loss.
Sawyer is sweet but oh so clingy. Blake and Iris were never like this (although I didn't know Iris at 10 months but I'm sure it wouldn't be this bad!) and I find it very challenging to get anything done unless he is napping. It's sweet to see more interaction though between the siblings. They are starting to enjoy his presence lately which is fun to watch.

Thanks to my parents Joe and I have had a few opportunities to go on dates lately, which is a dream come true. It's been a really nice summer with VBS, swimming & time with family and friends. Each morning when I wake up and look out my sweet little yard and the cute faces around the table, I thank the Lord to be in a house in Clearwater. I'm blessed.

A few of my favorite things

Favorite candle of the moment = Kohl's Sonoma "Lemonade Stand". It's amazing & only 5$ for a little one(free when you get their coupons in the mail) & I've bought a lot of candles. This one is seriously winning. So, so good.

Best home décor right now = is HomeGoods. Hands down this is my favorite place to stop in during the week when I feel like I just have to mentally escape. There is always a little item that makes my heart skip a beat. Just watching other people buy stuff there is fun. I just have to be careful because it quickly becomes a place that makes me discontent...but it's just filled to the brim with beautiful stuff.

My new craft = find a branch, knot some yarn on it & suddenly I love the bohemian look of this. I blame pinterest of course, but I'm kind of hooked.

Favorite way to spend a morning is at my brother and sister in law's pool, hanging out with my nieces and nephews, watching Iris and Blake learning to swim & enjoying the company.

Of course my dad is my favorite pastor/teacher but best sermon I've listened to online lately is John MacArthur on the Danger of Loving Money (gty.org). So good, so convicting & really opened my eyes. Again, I have to say my dad is so wonderful too & I'm loving his teaching on the Psalms, especially on overcoming fear!

If you are looking for a delicious summer salad my favorite is mixed greens, strawberry, feta cheese, glazed almonds & rotisserie chicken. For the dressing just pour a little olive oil, balsamic vinegar and sprinkle some sugar on top. Toss & serve with Bagel chips. Yum.

There ya have it, a little round up of useful information in life. A happy summer to you!

SPD & Me

It's been a bit of rocky road here at the Cotton's. Hard to believe since I always come across so calm and peaceful right? (seriously kidding there). Dealing with some difficult issues since we began our journey as parents back in 2010...
It has become quite apparent to us in the last few months that we think Blake has sensory processing disorder or at least some sensory issues that need to be addressed.  "Sensory processing disorder (SPD) is the inability to use information received through the senses in order to function smoothly in daily life."  It is a bit of an umbrella term to cover a variety of neurological disabilities. Occupational therapy is a great help and we are hopeful to dive into that soon as well as other activities you can do at home, a sensory diet which includes activities that strengthen neurological development and improve self help skills. (Pinterest comes through for me yet again with hundreds of ideas and information overload... for anyone interested my Blake pins are growing by the hour).

It has been difficult but I'm hopeful with the right tools we can make some progress and get life to be a bit easier for our sweet son.
Iris is so perfect for Blake - they fight like cats and dogs but they adore each other and she is so good to him! She continually brings him out of his shell, keeps him happy, lets him get his way, goes with the flow even though her world has changed a bit due to this all - I'm so proud of my girl. Her potty training has gone down the crapper (pun intended) but I think with a new plan we are working on per our pediatrician she will be back on track in a month or so. One can hope! As long as Sawyer isn't potty trained before her we're good.
Oh my sweet Sawyer, he is letting his good ol' sin nature shine through lately. He wants to be held ALL the time, extremely clingy and cranky but I'm gonna go out on a limb and blame 85% of this on his front tooth breaking through. Regardless, home boy is making life tough. (Blake NEVER acted different when he got teeth in so this is new to me and I don't like it!)

A week ago my hubby became old.er. Yep, 42 never looked so good. We celebrated by going to the beach. Too bad my sister and her family got in a car accident on the way and there went my good mood, but they were not seriously injured so that was a relief.
Life has just felt overwhelming on all fronts, but God is gracious because I know it could be so much worse. Financial stress? Check. Parenting stress? Check. My ever constant struggle to be a godly wife? Check. Thankful for the Lord's grace, His forgiveness, and His mercy as I learn what love truly means.

So if you spot a grey hair on my head soon or I look a bit extra frazzled, just glance me that sweet pity look and I know that I have at least one reader. Ha!

Prentiss says it best

"Suppose you have to live with people who were perfectly uncongenial; who misunderstood you and who were always getting into your way as stumbling blocks?"
"If I were living with them and they made me unhappy I would ask God to relieve me of this trial if He thought it best. If He did not think it best, I would then try to find out the reason. He might have two reasons. one would be the good they might do me. The other the good I might do them."
"But in the case I was supposing, neither party can be of the least use to the other."
"You forget perhaps the indirect good one may gain by living with uncongenial, tempting persons. First such people do good by the very self denial and self control their mere presence demands. Then, their making one's home less homelike and perfect than it would be in their absence, may help to render our real home in heaven more attractive...we only know ourselves and what we really are, when the force of circumstances bring us out into the open."
"It is very mortifying and painful to find out how weak I am."
"That is true. But our mortifications are some of God's best physicians, and do much toward healing our pride and self conceit."

 - Stepping Heavenward (Elizabeth Prentiss)

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

"Appreciate the goodness of God. Count your blessings. Learn not to take natural benefits, endowments and pleasures for granted; learn to thank God for ALL of them.
Appreciate the patience of God. Think how he has borne with you and still bears with you, when so much in your life is unworthy of Him and you have so richly deserved His rejection.
Learn to marvel at His patience, and seek grace to imitate it in your dealings with others; and try to not try His patience anymore.
Appreciate the discipline of God. If you are a believer and He puts thorns in your bed it is only to keep you from falling into complacency and to ensure that you continue in his goodness by letting your sense of need bring you back constantly in self abasement and faith to seek His face."



I can't remember who wrote these words, but I read them somewhere and it stayed with me. These last few weeks have been among the most challenging in my life & I find myself singing " I need Thee Every hour" and clinging to His promises to get me through the day to day in life. It seems the Lord likes to keep me ever so weak and dependent on Him, so that is where I continue to be.

"It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees" - Ps 119:71

My children continue to amaze and delight me, I am blessed to be their mother. Tired, but blessed.

A quick update

Joe has a new job and begins April 1st. This is a huge blessing as he has been wanting a change for quite some time. The Lord has answered our prayers and we hope it's a really great fit!

Sawyer is 7 months today, how can this be? This boy is so cute I can hardly believe it, everything he does I find myself amused by, heck, even his farts are cute :) I realize this will all change very soon so I'm drinking up his gummy grin, his huge smile and even when he wakes me up WAY too early, he's the last baby so it doesn't get to me so much.

It's almost 2 years since we got on a plane and brought Iris home from Ethiopia. We will plan again in April to celebrate this special day (the 23rd) by eating at the only Ethiopian restaurant in the area (Queen of Sheba). It's actually delicious and is a slice of stepping back into time, love it.

Blake and Iris continue to fight like cats and dogs but when they love each other and hug and kiss and dance together, it's a reassuring reminder that they'll never be lonely & makes me so glad they have each other.

For anyone who missed it, my dad wrote a new book on the Song of Solomon called "The pleasures of Marriage" and you can buy it on amazon for less than 10 bucks. I've begun to read it and it's so good - I highly recommend it! Also, for those interested my sister has a blog on her daughter Lyla called prayforlyla.blogspot.com and she is keeping updated posts on her progress. There, that's my little plug. Happy spring - makes me want to decorate white, pink and gold everywhere! (that's kind of every day though).

Make today count

 Yep. Need to remind myself to make every day full of special moments and opportunities to train and love these three souls that have been entrusted to me. Such a challenge!

Oh, crap.

We began potty training Blake when he was 2 1/2 and within 3 days he had it down. No accidents, no stress - it was really quite painless.
Iris of course wanted to do it as well and she successfully began going potty on the toilet without a problem. She was quick to want to wear undies, be like her brother and could tell me each time she had to pee and usually liked to go on her own. That's where my success ends. The poop situation is altogether another story.

For some reason she has an overwhelming fear to go poo on the toilet. I'm talking fall down on the ground screaming like she's being tortured if I say why don't you try to sit for a few minutes on the toilet because I know she's holding her poo in. It has escalated so badly in the last few weeks that she is now holding it in for as long as humanly possible until little by little poo is escaping and she can't keep it hidden. She is lying about it (that doesn't fool me honey) and many times this happens all day long, I'm talking half a dozen times between lunch and nighttime I am cleaning her poop. If you have been unlucky enough to be around her poo you will know that it is beyond the worst smell imaginable. We had her retested for giardia a few months back which came back negative.

I have tried everything and nothing has helped. I could really use prayer and wisdom. I don't know what it is that is causing such irrational fear and I don't want to her stop peeing on the toilet, which will happen if I give up and have her only in diapers. I stopped shortly before Sawyer was born knowing it would be a stressful time... She knows what she is doing (she tells me this) and she purposefully goes into another room and hides to do the deed. If she is bare bottom she will simply start to poop - it doesn't matter. Rewards don't matter to her - I am not getting through and feel so helpless. Any words of wisdom are appreciated! (She is turning 3 on March 1st)

Am I missing something? Attention grabber? Okay, but this is beyond that. A piece of her past? I feel at a loss...

1st Kid / 3rd Kid Differences

From the time one has their first child to the time one might possibly have 3 (sometimes that's only 2 years!) many things change. Here are a few of my observations...

Wipe warmer machine for the first one, laughed about two kids later (face reality kid!)

Dark room, quiet for the first one during sleep time/ Any room will do or car seat or  pack n play, or sunny space, just so long as he gets a little nap...

Perfect little baby book, written in during "free time" and even posted pictures in the book for the first one/ Lucky to even have a baby book for the 3rd one, or even printed pictures for that matter!

Bath time gives you something to do in the day for the first one and each day it's a fun little time/activity. Third child? You try to remember when they got bathed last or if they start to smell you know it's time.

First child - lovely new clothes, books, toys & shoes. Third child? Find it on the curb, thrift store, hand me downs, & whatever else you can find that's in decent shape! (okay, in all honesty that happened with our first too, just not as much)

Your every day is consumed when it's just one, you are always together. Third child? During nap time you sometimes you forget about him (is that just me? Please tell me it's not just me)

Nursery drop off makes you nervous and you feel a little torn as to when you can leave them with someone else. Third child - no nerves, no reluctance & your hands feel quite nice to be free :)

Yep, it's a lot of changes but it's oh so good too; he has a piece of my heart forever and I didn't even know I could love three kids all at once the way I do now. His smile melts me and I forget all the worries in the world, I guess that's one thing that doesn't change.

Good things take time

Last year...hmmm, we had just flown down for our Christmas break. We were waiting on the condo to sell after waiting for like, ever. We went and looked at this cute little yellow house on Carlisle street & I wanted to call it home oh so badly. Joe still was waiting to hear about transferring his job down here at CDW. (Epic fail). I had just found out I was pregnant & felt scared of how that would all turn out. Our place was half packed up and all the details seemed so out of control.

Looking back it's incredible to see how God worked it all out for us. We were out of the condo the end of January, Joe arrived the first week of February, was out of a job till April (rough), Lyla's health went from okay to scary, spinal surgery...recovery... to okay to unknown & then back to scary many times and continues to be so. I really hope this next year is a huge turn around and one of incredible miraculous changes so she can begin to have real freedom, walk and run like other two year olds & enjoy the life God has given her in more ways than she can imagine. It is always heavy on our heart. My sister is like my other half so seeing her in pain is almost more than I can bear some days. God is faithful though and we cling to him even in the unknown.

We moved in to this house which was a huge blessing & tried to make it our own ( I still have a million things I'd love to do but maybe when the kids are in school in a few years??) Got a vehicle so I can drive places in the summer, gave birth for the second time to my third child :)  It has been a very crazy year and I can't wait to see what happens this year. For the record I love my van and surprisingly Joe still lets me drive it, despite hitting the mailbox (just once!)

Can I point out that is has been just about two years since we were awaiting traveling news for meeting our daughter Iris and flying to Ethiopia for the first time!! Joe had salmonella poisoning and here I am making all the traveling arrangements and trying to figure out all the details of the trip. Now that was one crazy Christmas and New Years! (Remember that, Alicia & Dawson? The movie on New years day in that awesome Ethiopian theatre??) We arrived in Ethiopia two days after Christmas - it was a very special trip but I'm so glad that was two years ago and in April we celebrate our 2 years of being a family together.

God is good, year after year. No matter where we are, may I learn to be content and trust that He always knows what is best and when it is best. Merry Christmas and happy new years everyone :)

Photo Update!

Thanksgiving, 2013

Grandpa Cotton visit - November 2013

Steven's birthday party - November 2013

Our beautiful Ethiopian girl (cornrows only lasted a few days but they were awesome)

The boys! (Joe, Blake, Steven, Ben, Jason, Jack, Drew, Luke, Cole) Thanksgiving 2013

We like to show off  tummy's in this family, obviously

Celeste, Angie, Danielle, Rachel (a few of my favorite people!)

Lots of sickness

Lots of pressure & stress

Lots to be tempted to worry about

But this is life!

Listening to John MacArthur sermons on Phil 2 on not complaining. Ouch, so convicting. Take a listen, you will be changed! (gty.org)

 

Thoughts on adoption

Since this is national adoption month I have been thinking a lot about our adoption of Iris. With friends and friends of friends who are in the process now it all feels so fresh to me.
So many times I look at Iris while she is playing and think about the day it must have happened. The day her birth mom had her and left her. I don't know many details and I don't think it's my place to share much more than that, but it's not a great mystery with orphans in Ethiopia being abandoned by their birth mother/ family. But I look at that sweet face, her healthy growing body and wonder if her birth mother ever thinks about her or if she's even alive. I can't imagine being left by my mother at birth, living in an orphanage for a year and then flying home with strangers to a new country, new language and a new life. My girl is so strong.

To be honest the bonding has been harder than I thought. Don't get me wrong, she bonded to us quickly and we loved her from the start, even before we saw her photo we loved her. That began the day we filled out our application! Having her home though, having Blake who is only 4 months older, and then bringing in a newborn in less than two years of having her home...it's been an adjustment. It's been chaotic, stressful, exhausting but of course wonderful and rewarding too.

I see her insecurity. I see her shyness around others and her bubbly spirit at home (she never stops talking at home!) I think my favorite is seeing her love my mom. The woman who encouraged me throughout the three year journey more than anyone else. The woman who became a huge supporter of adoption, my mother. She and Iris have a very close relationship and I love that.
It's strange to think that two years ago at this time we had not even met her! We had gotten our referral in September and had been told it would probably be spring till our court date. Then low and behold we got the call that the day after Christmas we'd need to leave to get there in time. We spent new years in Ethiopia...can it really be almost two years ago?

It has been a great thing but a hard thing. I wanted kids and I got them and quite quickly. To think the Lord chose her, a sweet little helpless newborn girl in a small village in Ethiopia, 5 hours from the capital Addis Ababa & made her ours. I love adoption. I love Ethiopia. I love Iris.

Read anything good lately?

My brother is always reading a good book. He is great about asking me "what are you reading lately"...rarely do I have a good answer. Until lately! The Lord has been prompting me, by my current circumstances mainly, to be reading good books and filling my mind with wisdom and not "junk". It is a discipline for me to spend my time well, the little bit of free moments that I have, but I'm seeing it transform my mind lately. I'm thinking about verses or paragraphs in great books by Elizabeth George or Martha Peace, who has a ton of books on being a godly wife & mother. I'm also reading some really good parenting books as right now Joe and I are in the throws of training our children - these are the nitty gritty years to get it right from the start! It's a daunting responsibility and I want with all my heart to do the best job I possibly can.
I admire my brother in so many ways, as well as my sister in law Danielle, who let me look through their library so I can borrow more and more books. I'm hungry to learn and grow and gain knowledge. I thank them for their example to push me to grow without saying a word but by their lives.

I'm also blown away with my sister Rachel. She has turned in the most giving and sacrificial parent that I long to become. Her entire day is one of sacrifice, love, caring & patience. She is so strong and I want to be more like that with my own children.
This morning as I was walking from the school to the church, I realized once again how blessed I am, to be home, living here, listening to my brother and dad teach God's word each week. Having been gone for 11 years and never knowing if it would happen...now here I am with three children living minutes away from the people I love most on this earth. It's so easy for me to get caught up in the daily tasks and not look at all God has given me.
 Reading has so many benefits, so I ask...have you read anything good lately??

Happenings

It's been almost a month so I suppose it's time for a small update! Survival = my goal each day. Joe has been working 11-8 all week and that just stinks more than Iris's dirty diapers. If you have experienced that smell you know how I feel about it :)
We are retesting her for Giardia as it can be dormant and the smell is beyond atrocious. Trying to get her to go on the toilet for #2 is as difficult as counting all the time I spend on pinterest. It's just  consuming beyond all measure. (how else should I spend my time nursing?) Hopefully we can get that fixed and soon.

Blake turned 3 on sunday and what a joy it was to see him celebrate on Saturday night with family (first time for that). He loved his birthday and continually wants to be sung happy birthday to. It is over my man! I love watching him  grow and see him understanding so much.

We have so many birthdays coming up in our family over the next two months (my dad, mother in law, Cole, Abby, Steven, Jason, Drew to name a few). Lots of activity :)

Sawyer rocks my socks he is so cute, even at 3am. We will see how long that lasts...at 7 weeks he is just waking up around 3ish and then around 6...I have high hopes for a full night sleep in the near future.

Joe continues to work hard and be a great dad & I'm so lost without him! If I wasn't living here with family to get me through these crazy days I think I'd be in the fetal position crying in my walk in closet at the condo (oh wait, that would be a nursery) ; yet I'm blessed to have people around who are praying and help me in so many ways.

In case you are reading this thinking, wow she is boring, who cares ? Let me throw out some useful tips.
Best candle for fall - Target called AUTUMN and it is the perfect scent. Your welcome.
Best part of my day - Pumpkin Creamer in my coffee. Thank you international delight for knocking it out of the park and causing me to not feel completely depressed for not consuming starbucks in months.
Best pinterest recipe - Six Sister's Chicken & Lime Taco's. Amazing. (check out homemaking is hot on my board)
There, is this post a bit more helpful?  :)

Three kids are no joke - I've never been so tired and rundown and on the verge of crazy in my life. Here's hoping the next few weeks get easier???

A tiny update

Our last night before I went to the hospital to be induced. We had a great time at Weaver Park!

He melts my heart. Loves keeping his hands close by his face. Thanks to that habit I have six stitches. It's hard to be mad when you're this cute though.



So tiny. So cute. Sawyer looks good too.

It's cute to see them loving on Sawyer. Iris is not smitten just yet, but Blake can't give him enough kisses throughout the day. 3 Kids under 3 = nonstop.

It has been a crazy week, but what a life changer! I've never been so busy but so needy for the Lord's help to get through each moment. Friends have been so helpful in bringing meals, my mom has protected my sanity on more than one occasion & my family has bent over backwards to make this transition easier. I'm blessed.
I find myself more eager for the Word, a good book or organizing  / managing our home instead of shopping at  Home Goods or watching TV. Those days are gone for now as we broke up with cable this afternoon. Single tear.

5 Things I LOVED about my grandpa

Yesterday was a hard day. I had seen my grandpa just 1 week ago & it was night and day from what I saw when I said my goodbye. He was looking up at the ceiling, breathing very heavy & I wasn't sure if he could even know what was going on. I've never seen someone I love so close to death and it's so painful. My grandma seemed so alone, even though my parents and aunt& uncle were with her.  When you've been with someone since teen years & now he is close to 90, how do you ever really say goodbye? I'm so glad it's only a temporary loss and I know we will all be together for eternity. There have been so many times through the years we thought we'd lose him, and he has held on so strong for so long.

Anyway, a few hours after I said goodbye he went home to be with Jesus & although he's not been himself for a few years due to his dementia, I remember so many wonderful things about him.

1 Thing I admired was that he loved the Lord and was so godly. He spent time each day in the word & he made it clear that God was the first priority in His life. He was so involved at church & teaching and always took the opportunity to tell others of his commitment to the Lord.

Another thing I loved was that he loved his family. He was a caring and wonderful husband, a kind & sweet father & a wonderful grandpa to me and his other grandchildren. He gave me the most incredible mother I could ask for and had such a humble attitude, no arrogance or pride ever.

The third thing I loved about him was his sense of humor. He always had little quirky lines and quips & could laugh off so many things. He was great at telling jokes and he always had a smile on his face.

The fourth thing was what a servant he was. He was always helping others, doing what he could be to minister and encourage others, especially family and friends. He would visit sick and dying friends and go out of his way to visit others who were lonely or needing someone to care.

The fifth thing I loved was his interest in me and others. While I grew up and even when I'd come home from college or visit with Joe, he always wanted to know what was going on in my life, how I was doing...he'd ask me questions and truly cared. He gave of his time & invested in so many people.

He was such a generous and loving and sweet man. A complete gentleman who never said an unkind word. I will truly miss my grandpa but I'm so glad he's in heaven and that this is only a temporary goodbye. I thought just maybe he's meeting my 4 other children today that have been there a few years and what a sweet reunion that would be.

Please keep my family in your prayers. Even though this death was in one way a relief, it's still such an emotional loss, especially for my grandma. The weeks ahead will be difficult....but not for my grandpa.

Christmas 2012

Beginnings & Endings

Waiting & waiting, seems like my grandpa's days are numbered here on earth.  I want him to not have to suffer anymore, but it's still a difficult time knowing what a loss it is for our family, especially my grandma after 68 (or close to it) years of marriage... there have been so many close calls over the years, it's hard to imagine that it's finally going to be a reality soon. It's horrible to watch him in a nursing home grow weaker and because of his dementia he has not been himself for a long time. My grandma spends every afternoon with him and my mom is there practically every day as well...I know they'd appreciate prayers as goodbyes are never easy...Thankful I could be with him last week.

 

Waiting for Sawyer to be born. Waiting to see what having a baby and two 2 year olds will be like.

The kids really seem to be developing a lot lately, it's so fun to watch them say more, react to things with cute expressions & show some love to each other without me asking them to.

Iris had a small little Christmas today when a neighbor dropped off bags of clothes & shoes. The girl rarely likes to be alone but there was a good hour of her just trying on about 5 pairs of shoes. It was so cute...maybe since she never wore shoes the first year of life? The girl seriously has a fetish.

 

They are both so observant, so sweet & make me laugh each day. The new adventure awaits!

Calm before the storm

Before all the craziness arrives I'm trying to get out as much as possible with B & I. Blake woke up with a stuffy/runny nose so hoping that clears up pronto Not the easiest thing to hold him down while trying to get the snot out of his nose (pretty picture, huh?)
My parents return from Colorado tomorrow night so I can officially go into labor starting Friday and not be overly stressed because of their absence.
Bought Sawyer a few things today thanks to grandma cotton & I think we are almost officially ready for #3.
Reading in my journal today and remembering how overwhelming the move to Florida seemed (where will we live, when will Joe get a job, how are we going to sell this condo...) and the Lord showed me it's not too much for Him. Needing that reminder as I contemplate how this transition from two to three will go. Nervous is a nice word for it. Prayers appreciated for this new chapter.